please come you make the beer taste better
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im holly from the hills drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
