so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
