If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
well you can't waste a boner
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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