I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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