oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
