Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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