Don't you send me to vm
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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