Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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