We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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