my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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