i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize