She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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