Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
