the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
