hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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