the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
