thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize