I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
