Just cropdusted the office
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
