its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
