hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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