She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize