susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
