O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
