Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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