isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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