How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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