erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know her cup size but not her name....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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