I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize