I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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