shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
