can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she told me i tasted like america
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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