Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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