Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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