Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize