just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
