i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
