Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
