The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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