what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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