just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
