I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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