why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
