i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
