is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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