She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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