He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
