I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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