Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
