whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i love accidental penises.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
