i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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