I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize