So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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