Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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