My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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