That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you never un-have a 4some
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize