i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
