do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize