im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As shirtless as possible
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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