Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
