i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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