What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
