ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize